Twelfth (Pacechanging)

 

Alright, so I'm making a game. 

I've been looking for hobbies for a while, but nothing really managed to stick. I even went as far as to try and learn how to edit videos to try and be one of those video editors, but I should have known to stop when it felt less like a hobby and more like work. 

I made a couple of pretty okay-ish edited videos, like this one;


25/02/2023

And this one, that I edited for my friend Shiv;


25/11/2020


Mostly I did little comedy and montage bits, but I was editing mostly because I thought I enjoyed it. The 'editing' part is fun, seeing the final result too, but there was always a strange disappointment when I finished editing. I didn't pay much attention to it at the time, but I began editing videos for my classes and it began to really claw at my psyche.


09/10/2021


I'm a writer, not an artist, and editing was more artistic than 'writi-stic'. But I persevered, because I thought I could eventually warm up myself to the idea.

But I didn't.

Now, here is where I could segue into something. I could spin a story how my most popular video is a literal powerpoint slideshow meme video, having a hundred and sixty thousand views as of today;


07/04/2021

It was odd that a more genuine video with minimal editing would get any attention today, but it really didn't do anything to really stake my interests in the heart. It was more of a slow burn.

I began to lose interests in the things I loved, but I returned to my 'old reliables'. Books, stories and writing, eventually pursuing a Masters. I was satisfied, but I wasn't close to stimulated.

I decided to pick up Gamemaker 2, and I went down a video path through Youtube on tutorials, before I finally managed to make my character move.

And I loved it.

I began researching more, crafting textboxes. I watched tutorials by Sara Spalding and Peyton Burnham (especially the latter, Burnham is amazing) and I took a crack at it.

                                                           it's small, it's simple, but it's mine


A rush of satisfaction that I haven't felt since I learnt how to play a certain game at a high level, when I finished a book that was truly of the highest quality, it was so much more enriching than all of the videos I had edited in the past. 

I read up more on tutorials, guides, all that - and I learnt that I should take it small and slow. But I'm not that kind of guy, making small things at fast speeds is great for experience, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I don't make what I like.

But I did hit a very painful roadblock. I couldn't make the combat system I wanted.

I was pretty close to giving up. There wasn't any tutorials or guides I could follow. I was recommended to use ChatGPT or some AI to help me, but it's useless. AI is only good for the most rudimentary, easy-to-access things, like how to code a website or how to make a turn-based RPG code or something.

It can't make what I saw in my head.

I would have given up. I really would - but then something clicked.

I don't know what, but it clicked.

I combined both what I read in the GM manual, the video tutorials that had only 1% of the code I needed, and even some of the useless AI slop code, and I hackneyed together a very, very, very basic grid-based fighter. 

I succeeded.

 
  combat_test.proj
 
 
The rush came back. It was such a simple, stupid bit of code now that I look back on it, but to someone that has never touched code or art and only got around to it in the last 6 months, it felt like I took a gigantic step forward.

My mind was full of ideas. A melee attack, first. Spawn a projectile in place, in front of the sprite, after a delayed sprite animation. I need a sprite library for that, I need to freeze the player in place, etc. etc.

I got back into the mix. Small steps.

This wasn't like video editing, where I could see what I wanted and how I could improve - this was small refinements of a simple idea that would one day become what I wanted.

I never had the patience for art, but this was different.
 
 
 

 

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I will be posting more on this blog now, because my life is getting in the way of anything resembling learning game dev. It is much, much harder than video editing, making a game, but the joy I feel when I see my code work is something that I have found to be unparalleled.

Maybe I'll fall out of love with it like video editing, but only time will tell.

I've went back to my old blog articles and damn, damn, I was one miserable sob.

But I feel better now.

Four years of treatment, all thanks to Melbourne, family and friends.

I dunno if it will stick, I'm one hell of a pessimist.

But what I do know is that I'm happy right now.

It feels like time is starting up again.

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